When I was a teenager, underwear was this mysterious thing. Boys know that it was under pants; we knew it had to somehow come off. When we finally got girls’ underwear in our greasy little hands, it felt sort of functional – this tight-ish, thin fabric that supported ripples of baby fat and little wisps of pubic hair. Girls didn’t wax back then; girls didn’t wear thongs. They wore cotton panties, and those things were confusing. Cotton panties were a lot stronger, absorbent, and more abrasive than thongs.
You didn’t so something so incredibly gauche as to try and take them off the moment you had your hand down there, oh no! That would be taking things too far. A guy had to crank his wrist back as far as possible and slip his hand under the top band of elastic. Then he had to ease his hand down over a forest of untrimmed pubic hair, pulling the elastic top of the panties tight against the top of the poor girl’s hip. Then all the embarassing feeling around, because most guys have no idea just how far down things are. We thought we’d find everything in front, sort of like the way guys are built. It was all very awkward.
Fast forward to the present, and it’s all about the thongs and the low rise jeans. I’ve never had the dubious pleasure of fooling around with a girl who wears a tiny bit of string pressing against her rectum, but… maybe it’s fun? While thongs may look sexy, and present a far less daunting physical puzzle for young men to solve, they look uncomfortable for women, and older cotton panties look more daunting and but are much harder to get off. There must be a middle ground between sexy and comfortable!
One of my sisters-in-law wears thongs. Both do, actually, but… well, read on.
She’s a larger girl but doesn’t know it. She wears pants that are too small for her, and since she’s pear-shaped, the pants creep down her rear end, exposing the butt-floss. Or the whale-tale, as it is called. It looks like a wire cutting through cottage cheese. It’s horrible to look at, and when she’s visiting, and chasing around her toddlers, she is forever bending over and exposing me to this damnable sight.
Call me old-fashioned, but perhaps could I suggest to women in general that they ditch everyday use of thongs? Panty lines aren’t the end of the world, and the alternative is the sight of that accursed triangle descending to the depths.
This looks more vulnerable to me than anything else.
Some cheap laughs, although it proves my point somewhat…
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Now really, is this *so* bad? Sexy and comfortable at the same time.
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- This is just unfortunate. But really, a simple pair of cotton briefs would have improved things .
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I had never really understood the thong – but having talked to a lot of women I(my wife runs a dance troupe) understand that they can actually be a lot more comfortable than regular panties – in that they don’t ride up and bunch nearly as much as regular panties.
What would go a long way to alleviating that whole “whale tail” phenomenon is a pair of pants that actually fits…
…and maybe a belt wouldn’t hurt, either.
Hence the phrase ‘don’t get your panties in a bunch,’ I suppose. I guess I’ll have to take their word that thongs are comfortable. But in college I dated a really jocky girl who wore very sporty underwear, which were comfortable and looked great.