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Review: ‘Zone One,’ by Colson Whitehead

I wanted to read this book. I tried my very best, but it stymied me no matter how many times I tried to come back to it. I think I know why.

Remember those stupid mash-up books? Android Karenina, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, Shakespeare v Lovecraft? Those books, which you saw in the horror section and never bothered to look at because they looked stupid, even though they’d attracted a lot of attention just because of the idea?

Zone One is a mash-up. It’s not a literary horror novel. A literary horror novel is Blood Meridian, The Last Werewolf, or The Fifth Child (Doris Lessing). A literary horror novel is not a blending of styles because literary anything is not a style, but a quality. Literary just means good writing with good vocabulary.

The people who marketed Zone One tricked readers into thinking this a blending of styles, of genres, but it is really a mash-up: a brutal and turgid amalgam of one type of book with another.

Have you ever wandered a bookstore looking for something to read? You pick up this book, that book, reject a lot of them, and try not to trip over those strange people who seemed to live in the modern big-box bookstore.

Occasionally, you come across this: a thick, dense book with the photo of earnest young man (often sporting boxy glasses and a pony tail) in the back author photo. He’s gone to Harvard and received  an MA in Comparative Lit, written for the Village Voice and Mother Jones, and in between those jobs many writers would sell their children to get he’s written a novel. It’s been praised by Updike, Joyce Carol Oates, and you’d better not miss out on his Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius or you’re a godamn ignoramus.

So you buy it. I mean, how can you not? Anyone who’s anyone loved it.

Then you try to read it. Immense run-on paragraphs, shifting perspectives, over-boiled prose, and the words! Strings of huge words that could be replaced by one small word. Tiresome father issues, cardboard female characters, and digressions that run on for pages. Thinking ‘it can’t be just me,’ you end up running to Amazon and google for more reviews. I must be stupid if I hate this book, you think, I’m a dinosaur and this guy is part of the new wave. So you keep on trying to read it, growing over more tired and angry at this autobiographical exercise in youthful logorrhoea. At some point, you stop reading it and put it on your shelf. Strangely enough, no one ever asks you how it was.

Zone One is one of those earnest books from lauded young writers of whom most readers have never heard, and it’s been mixed with zombies. I don’t think Colson Whitehead intentionally set out to write a mash-up, but since he is the poster child for hip and impressive young authors, he wrote one of those mash-ups simply by adding zombies.

Here are a few whoppers:

The youngest one wore its hair in a style popularized by a sitcom that took as its subject three roommates of seemingly immiscible temperaments and their attempts to make their fortune in this contusing city.

Gina was that new species of celebrity emerging from the calamity, elevated by the altered definitions of valor and ingenuity. 

One of those seekers powerless before the seduction of the impossible apartment that the gang inexplicably afforded on their shit-job salaries, unable to resist the scalpel-carved and well-abraded faces of the guest stars the characters smooched in one-shot appearances or across multi-episode arcs. Struck dumb by the dazzling stock footage of the city avenues at teeming evening.

There’s lots more where those came from, but you get the drift.

Literary writing should have a lightness to it. It’s not like low-fat food; after all, french chefs have been making fluffy things out of heavy fat for hundreds of years. As dense as the ideas are, the writing should dance on the tongue, not lie on the plate like a bad boiled dumpling. Literary writing shouldn’t be so… consciously written, so desperate to impress. It should look like the author is a genius who can’t help but write with impeccable style and syntax, and above all, a correct understanding of the flavours and limits of words.

Look, here. Here’s a line from Lolita.

I was still walking behind Mrs. Haze though the dining room when, beyond it, there came a sudden burst of greenery,”the piazza,” sang out my leader, and then, without the least warning, a blue sea-wave swelled under my heart and, from a mat in a pool of sun, half-naked, kneeling, turning about on her knees, there was my Riviera love peering at me over dark glasses.

Or Joyce! Check this out. Just a little bit.

In the intense instant of imagination, when the mind, Shelley says, is a fading coal, that which I was is that which I am and that which in possibility I may come to be. So in the future, the sister of the past, I may see myself as I sit here now but by reflection from that which then I shall be.

I’m being cruel in comparing Whitehead to the great writers of the last century, but I feel like I should, if only to show the direction in which he should be pointing. Writing is not about vocabulary, it’s about rhythym, the dance of the words on the page. It’s hard to describe, but so easily missed. That quality is not to be confused with poetry, but the magic is drawn from the same well.

Oh, and the plot. It’s all right, I guess. It follows the life of one Mark Spitz, a soldier in an army charged with clearing downtown Manhattan of the walking dead. Alongside the traditional biting dead are strange creatures who are stuck repetitively performing tasks they did while alive. Nice idea, although it owes a lot to George Romero in Dawn of the Dead, in which zombies endlessly roam a shopping mall.

Glenn Campbell reviewed this book for the New York Times, and he said it got better as it progressed. Maybe he was right, but I was too frustrated to find out.

If a Zombie Apocalypse were to really happen (I mean really)

    I thought I was done with the Walking Dead.

But then I saw the line-up for the Toronto After Dark Film Festival. A civil war zombie apocalypse movie and a zombie comedy in which the main characters are wise-cracking zombies. To be honest, Exit Humanity, the civil war movie set in the 1800′s(but with zombies!), looked well done.

So I’m going to tell you what would happen if the zombie plague really happened. By this, I mean the classic scenario: millions of shambling, moaning corpses; they only die from headshots; the infection spreads through bites.

The cities would do well. No, they would, sorry. Modern cities are full of secure condominium complexes, police stations, brick schools, historic forts, and army bases. Some cities have underground tunnels connecting underneath the financial districts, and each section has its own armoured doors. Many are near ocean shores. A few, like Montreal and Richmond, British Columbia, are islands. You know what else are in cities? Banks. Huge, secure, armoured buildings, several of which are on every busy street. Central branches are even bigger. We would hide in those places. Could a bunch of drooling dead idiots use their rotting fists to break down the door of a bank?

The country folks? They have guns, room to manoeuvre, and the privilege of seeing the zombies come from a long distance away. There might be a few massacres as some communities get caught unaware (I’m thinking of the Quakers, who would have neither guns to defend themselves or radios or TV from which to hear of the threat). But on the balance the country folks would be fine.

The cities would mobilize, thanks to the police and army. That other trope of zomb-lit – that of the real monsters coming out of hiding when all the humans are trapped in one place? Bull. Remember the Japan Earthquake, 9-11, the subway bombings in London? Humans stick together and help each other when the going gets tough.

Once the world’s leaders understand the nature of the threat, they release an edict by text, Email, Radio, and TV: Every living person should endeavour to kill at least one zombie. The math works.

The third world? That might be different: an enormous, dense population, fewer places to hide, smaller land mass, a higher prevalence of disease. The body count could could be brutally high. There I could see the million-plus herds of zombies form, like in the ZA Recht novels, heading en masse towards African and Mid-eastern cities.

Here’s where the colonial legacy comes through: US army bases in the Mid-east, Africa, the Phillipines. A single Apache gunship could take out an entire herd. Look at the night-vision videos from Apache attacks in Iraq – they’re on Youtube.  The they-only-die-from-headshots trope is meaningless in the presence of bullets that rip apart the human body. Battleships with cannons with twenty-mile ranges, jets with smart bombs and guided missiles, Abrams tanks that could simply steamroll the walking dead without even bothering to use ordinance. Massed hordes of slow-moving dead people would be powerless in the face of modern weaponry.

Winter would arrive in the Northern countries: zombies would be reduced to almost motionless, desiccated hulks. Dead or not, human tissue dries and contracts in cold. In northern Canada, they would freeze solid. The First World would be free to send mop-up UN troops to the hotter countries. It might be beginning of unintentional colonialism, but that’s another novel.

The plague would subside once the world understands that the brainstems of the newly-dead must be destroyed. There would be terrible economic damage. The publishing world would be swept by Zombie non-fiction; Zombie documentaries and movie treatments of the plague would sweep the Oscars.

But in the end we would be fine. We’d survive. No survival-of-the-fittest, Desperados-roaming-the blasted-landscape; no last holdouts. We’d be fine because we’re human, because we’re organized.

We humans have made it to space, explored the north and south poles, cut canals through continents. We’ve invented democracy and vaccines; we’ve split the atom, gone to the moon, invented quantum theory; we’ve gone through a real plague.

Would we really go down so easily before the Walking Dead? I can’t see it happening.

Five quick Zombie book reviews

So here’s another zombie post, in which I review a total of fourteen different zombie novels (and a comic book series.) I still have Colson Whitehead’s Zone One and Simon Clark’s Blood Crazy to review, and I will get on that soon.
But without further ado, here are five more works of zombie fiction reviewed by me. Enjoy.



Down the Road -Bowie Ibarra : In the first portion of the book, a high school teacher tries to escape the zombie plague, deliberately drives over and kills a police officer, returns to his school and has porn sex with one of his co-workers, and becomes imprisoned in a POW-style camp inexplicably run by FEMA, which has become a gang of stormtrooper thugs. The book is nasty, terribly written, and brims over with the author’s hatred of authority and government. Only interesting because it might help explain the zombie-fiction lover’s urge to see a world where all rules have vanished. One minor saving grace: author has a cool name.
The Rising – Selected Scenes from the End of the World, by Brian Keene : I was in no way impressed with The Rising, the source book for this thing, which could be called Thirty-two short stories about the Siqqism. It’s a compendium of grim, depressing fragments taken from around the world as the unbeatable demon plague of corpse possession hits the planet. But when these extremely short stories are not mawkishly sentimental (two little girls avoiding the zombs and making for their magical secret clubhouse; doesn’t that make you just want to barf), or full of laboured Keene mythos explanations (which read like those sections of the Old Testament that list polysyllabic names and diet restrictions) these stories can be pretty funny.
A young man keeps a zombie prisoner so he can bore it to death with movie-talk. A zombie hates the body he inhabits; it gets worse when he becomes trapped in its severed head. A ghost directs a gang of zombies to destroy the people who raped and killed his family. My personal favourite – one of those pragmatic, outdoorsy Northern Europeans discovers a way to avoid the zombies and stay alive: move to the cold, corpse-freezing mountains and resort to cannibalism! As far as zombie fiction goes, this book is not bad at all. It’s never boring and it reads quickly.
The Walking Dead, Compendium One, by Robert Kirkman – I got this baby last Christmas, and I live in fear of the day my eight year-old sneaks it out of my nightstand. It’s the inspiration for the hit TV series, if there are a few people out there who didn’t know that. This massive, heavy book combines issues one through forty-eight of the comic book series. It follows the trials of a small group of survivors as they navigate the landscape and try to find a place to live. They try forests, seemingly deserted suburbs, fortified farms, and in perhaps the most brilliant use of metaphor in any work of zombie fiction, a maximum security penitentiary.
Wow. This is how zombie fiction should be done. The zombies are absolutely typical rotters – dead, shambling, vulnerable to headshots. The book focuses on how humans react to be trapped, being on the run, how they deal with hopelessness, fatigue, grief, hatred, insanity, and the infinitesimally rare dust-motes of happiness. The author treats the zombies as a natural phenomenon, and so they become as much a plot device as a storm or tsunami.
The book is well-done, but unrelentingly grim and full of death. Characters to whom the reader grows attached die in terrible and humiliating ways. You can almost taste the sweat, the desperation, and the danger. They’d be better off launching a full-on war of extermination against the zombies rather than stay cooped up inside staring at each other all day. It’s epic and fascinating just as a highly detailed account of Word War II is. Robert Kirkman is a fine storyteller who knows instinctively what works – he’s not writing zombie fiction; he’s writing a fabulous story that happens to use zombies as a plot device. The real story is us. It always is and has been.
My one and only mild complaint – visually, the drawing made it hard to discern between characters who looked similar to begin with: blonde women, and caucasian men with facial stubble.
Empire, by David Dunwoody – It’s 2112, and the undead have been up and active for over a century. The government has given up on coastal cities and towns, drawing in its borders towards the heartland. Death himself, riding a white horse and wielding a scythe, has come to the town of Jefferson Harbour. There’s a rich maniacal mad scientist with a brigade of zombie henchman, one of whom is his dead father with the head of a Doberman sewn on top of his body. Sounds like a great concept, doesn’t it?
This book did not work for me at all. I had a hard time getting through it, or even caring about anybody or anything. I found it irregular – flashes of good vivid writing, and then I couldn’t keep my eyes on the page.
Clearly there is a trick to writing – an author has to write so that the images translate directly into a reader’s mind; he has to write prose that does not magnetically repel your eyeballs away from the page. This did not happen here.
Like I said, it’s a good concept. Death plays in interesting role (although he is far too physically vulnerable), and at the end there is another adversary introduced who will likely play a big part in the sequel. Which I will not read, because the presentation lacked in the first book. I did my best to get into it, I really did!
Day by Day Armageddon, by JL Bourne – This was an unexpected surprise. I’d seen this book in the stores, and viewed it as ‘yet another zombie book.’
It is, in that the zombies do their usual thing: shambling, moaning, making the world dangerous, all the usual things, yadda yadda. But it’s the how that works here.
The main character is a young military man. He begins a daily journal just as the zombie plague begins.
What makes this book work is the military lore. The author seems to know about guns, the army, and how to fly planes. He makes an interesting point – that soldiers would do well in the zombie plague, not because of their combat skills, but because they have better early access to world-wide communications; they know where the bases, weapons caches, and fuel depots are; and they’ve been taught how to prepare for the worst. They know how to conserve, to divide and prioritize rations. This keeps this book interesting and lively, even if the reader is stuck wondering how the poor civilians are faring.
One rare instance of genre outside-the-box thinking: when governments nuke cities fallen to the walking dead, the radiation protects the re-animated flesh from rot much the same way as irradiated produce, thus prolonging the threat.
I’m going to read more of this series. It works and it’s exciting.

Nine Zombie Novels you might (or might not) want to read

 Zombies are big business. A movie version of Word War Z (with Brad Pitt!) is coming out, although I hear unpleasant rumours about production problems, pushed-back release dates, etc. The second season of Kirkman’s The Walking Dead is on its fourth episode. It’s a fine show, with wonderful actors. Not to mention all the books. The many, many books. So very many.
So I thought I would give you a list of zombie books you could sink your teeth into. I’lll try to keep it to a list of ten or less. Or maybe I’ll go over, depending on what I come up with. I don’t generally like zombie fiction, although I will give the devil its due if I’m reading a good book written in a genre I dislike. Why do I keep reading them? Because they’re there, I suppose, and every now and then I’ll get surprised.
Here’s an example of an equivalent surprise. In the early nineties, I saw a porno flick. No, I’m not expecting astonishment or congratulations from you – I happen to be one of those guys who’s seen a few porno flicks. It was called Dog Walker, written and directed by John Leslie (I used google to find this out; I don’t have a pornopaedic memory). Dog Walker is a pornographic melange of Thief, Jacob’s Ladder, and Angel Heart. The movie experiments with dream sequences, simultaneous character reversals, and steals a little from Alice in Wonderland as well. That movie was such an unexpected pleasure! Heads both big and little were very happy. I’m looking for that same unexpected surprise in zombie fiction.

So here are some Zombie books, in no particular order. This is not a top ten list; this genre hasn’t been around long enough for someone like Stephen King to come along and write a definitive version. Hell, no one has written the worst zombie novel either (although some people make an honourable effort). I’ll just tell you if they’re good or not, and tell you why I think so.

———————-
1. World War Z, by Max Brooks(Son of Mel Brooks!) – This one is pretty darn good. It’s just a collection of remembrances of the zombie plague. How does North Korea handle zombies? How about Israel (pretty good, actually), or China? What were some of the big battles lost and won? And how did we eventually beat them back and regain control of the planet? Written with a fine you-are-there feeling, with plenty of detail given to human migratory routes, and the ecological effects of a zombie conflict.

2. The Reapers are The Angels, by Alden Bell – A fine book, if flawed. The author may have read a little too much Cormac McCarthy and Faulkner before starting the book, so some parts come off the literary equivalent of a Las Vegas Mona Lisa. A unbelievably tough little girl roams a post-apoc zombie landscape, as a killer with an almost biblical compulsion to kill her follows behind. There’s more to it that that – Southern Gothic tropes are killed and brought back to living dead life. Fine writing with some real gross-out moments.

3. Tooth and Nail, by Craig Dilouie – A simple war novel about marines trying to fight their way through a zombiefied New York. Great shoot-em-up action, gratifyingly clear prose, and very authentic Marine lingo make for a good zombie novel.  Zombie hordes rushing down streets are likened to a great pulsing river of destruction.

4. The Autumn series, by David Moody – This is a series of at least five books. Just a long, detailed account of the zombie plague hitting England. I never got through the first book; it just didn’t do it for me. But it is noteable, I guess, so here it is. Available in many stores.

5. Cell, by Stephen King – Not exactly a zombie novel by definition, but worth noting here because it’s King, and this novel is a learning experience for anyone writing an apocalyptic novel. Anyone using a cell phone hears a signal that scrambles his or her brains. In about a minute, most people on earth become drooling, homicidal maniacs. No, there are no walking dead, but King has a knack for doing it differently but doing it better than anyone. Action-packed, un-put-down-able. His first real success after his terrible road accident, in my opinion. The threat is fast, lively, and begins to coalesce and intensify as the book progresses. Best and most poignant ending of any zombie novel.

6. Plague of the Dead (Morningstar Saga), by ZA Recht – Sadly, this author has passed away. Plague of the Dead, the first of a trilogy, is a decent take on the zombie saga. In one exciting scene, a million-plus horde of zombies makes its way across a river as a few US marines pour lead at them. In this book, zombies are both dead and alive.

7. The Rising and sequel City of the Dead, by Brian Keene – The Rising is hailed as the book that started the current zombie craze. It’s considered a minor classic in the genre. Is it good? Well… aside from zombies, there are zombie deer, zombie bunny rabbits, a zombie goldfish, endless shout-outs to other writers, and most of the zombies spout punny wisecracks as they attack. The poor writing and general grim, unpleasant outlook make for a depressing reading experience. Sorry, Keene die-hards.
PS. For the record, I don’t think this book started the zombie craze. Max Brooks released The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection for the Living Dead in 2003. The Rising was came out in 2004, and it has only a third of the reviews and a lower overall rating on Amazon than the Brooks book. I think Max Brooks started the Zombie craze, and with this movie he might be the last man standing when it ends.

8. Pariah, by Bob Fingerman -This book works the ‘trapped inside with the real monsters’ trope. New Yorkers are trapped in their apartments as the ravenous, shambling hordes mass outside. Essentially New York in the 1980’s. Good characters, and an interesting twist in the shape of a young girl who can walk unmolested among the zombies.As a bonus, the author is an artist and has included wonderful pencil sketches of zombies.

9. Book of the Dead, edited by John Skipp and Craig Spector – Released in 1989, long before the official zombie craze, This is considered the classic zombie anthology. Fine stories by Stephen King, Joe R. Landsdale, Ramsey Campbell, and Robert R. McGammon. These authors were writing zombie fiction without those present-day bookstore walls of crap pressuring them to do so. These stories are witty, frightening and inventive. Reading this book is  like driving a classic Corvette on a highway full of tarted-up Cadillac Escalades – you just know you’re cooler.
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